The Warmth

Don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came
and while you're alive
experience the warmth
before you grow old

The Warmth ~ Incubus

The sunlight stretches across my computer screen and Incubus is in my ears. It's Sunday evening and my body is warm from walking in the sun all day. I'm not sure what's happening in the air but there's a change there I can't put my finger on. As though it's something I've never even fathomed but suddenly my mind is forced to look it in the face. Like stumbling across an alien spaceship in the woods. Wrap your mind around that. Right now, it's the only way I can describe it. Like my eyes are only half open and I'm starting to notice things that no one else ever will.

I watch the way people interact with each other as though I were standing at the zoo on the other side of the glass, studying a new species. People look so much like animals to me sometimes; especially when I see small children walking hand in hand with their parents.

I'm calmer for longer periods of time. I get upset but I don't get out of control. I get annoyed and keep it to myself until it's safe to talk about. I am forgiving of her again and again. She's a true test of patience and I don't need to put my pencil down yet.

I'm on my day off and it's been blissful. I read what I can to open my mind, watch some mindless internet videos and lay down on my brother's king size bed to watch Jeopardy. Isn't it funny how far away I feel from these people and I spend all my free time around them and they don't always know me and they don't always like me and here I am... relaxing in his room on his bed.

He'd kill me if he knew.

I think it feels like an apartment and it's different scenery to me, so I feel right at home. And by home I mean, some place I haven't even been before existing somewhere waiting for me to rent.