Monday, November 3, 2008

The Great Flood... Of Circumstance

Where there is an ending, a beginning must soon follow. So when part of your world dies, a new world, for you, is reborn. The floods have come into my life, finally filling it to the brim and as I look over the deck of my make-shift ark (no where near as fabulous as Noah's...), I see the waters are receding. My new landscape may be muddy, things in the wrong places, a bit challenging to work with but alas, flushed and anew, none the less.

It's that feeling you get when you've finally paid off your car loan and you have extra money this month to take a friend out for dinner and kick back. It's that feeling that washes over you after being lost for an hour and finally turning the corner to a safe, familiar road and your destination is right in front of you, glowing magestically. Better yet, that feeling of rocks rolling off your shoulders when you break up with that dependent other (whether friend or lover...).

They say you've reached the bottom of your hole when you stop digging. They say it can always get worse... that is, if you keep picking up the shovel. But if everyone could see how fantastic dropping the shovel really feels, I mean really... who worlds would shift.

I have been the caregiver to many people and there have been a share that have been a caregiver to me. When we give and take in our relationships in an equal and positive way, we are able to always climb higher and endure more. When one party starts to slip, it is not in my nature to leave them behind. But if they are careless with their backwards steps, it is our duty to do our best for them and when no progress can be made, we must let them go.

Some of us are bound by depression, money problems or an unfulfilling relationship. Some of us don't like our jobs or our friends don't appreciate us. Some of us are sick, some of us are tired. But as long as we make the promise to ourselves to never give in to those things, even at our lowest hour, even if we are crying our eyes out... we will be okay.

I don't wake up every morning thinking that the world is incredible. I wake everyday with the expection that if I keep working at it, one day - I will wake up and the world will be incredible to me. That is all I can work towards because that is not an unattainable goal. Not for me. Not for anyone.